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2011 January 25 | Ben Makes Movies

Dear Week’s Growth Beard

It's just getting to be too much.

Dear Week’s Growth Beard,

Well, here we are again. Our relationships always end like this. It seems like it was only 5 days ago that everything in the world was right… I didn’t have to wake up and shave, and you made me feel laid back and carefree.

It wasn’t very long after that before we started having problems again. We’re both to blame: you started chafing my neck, and I wasn’t taking you out in public anymore. I knew that I should have ended it sooner. Call me apathetic or lazy if you want to – sometimes it’s just easier to stay in a bad relationship than to stand up and do something about it.

…But now it’s time for me to shave.

It’s not you, it’s me. Being with you is just a constant reminder of my own shortcomings; every time I look in the mirror I’m reminded that I just don’t have what it takes to grow proper facial hair. Maybe it’s bad genes, or maybe we were just never meant to be. Both of us knew that this couldn’t last forever. Truth be told, I’ve never even wanted a beard.

So, this is it. Nothing you can say will change my mind – I’ve already promised myself that from this point forward I’m going to start shaving more regularly. I’m not going to put myself in this position again. I’m 27 years old and I can’t keep repeating this endless cycle with you.

I’m sorry to have lead you on like this. Let’s just try to remember the good times.

Sincerely,

Ben

P.S. – My wife found out about you. It may take awhile for her to stop looking at me with disgust, but we’re going to try to make it work. I’ve sworn to her that I’m never going to let my facial hair get out of control like that again. Please don’t call me.

Where do I start?

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been writing in a personal blog for years now on an independent game development site. Some time ago I also tried to start up a separate blog devoted mostly to politics… but after a couple months I realized that I absolutely f***ing hate political blogs and the people who write them. In fact, I generally can’t stand any bloggers. This diagram illustrates the problem:

Blogger Diagram

As you can see, very few reasonable human beings ever even choose to write a blog in the first place. Fewer yet manage to keep it entertaining or informative enough to make it worth reading on a regular basis. I believe that I fall into the purple zone on this diagram – but we’ll see if others will actually enjoy reading what I have to write. Regardless, I’m not going to concern myself with amassing OMG 1 MILLION READERS11!1!!1. Like my YouTube shorts, I’ll be writing this blog purely for the enjoyment of the process. Any viewership that I happen to wrangle in is just icing on the cake.

So what am I getting at? My goal with this blog is to write/rant/babble about anything and everything, and to have fun while I’m doing it. Now that we’ve got “the talk” out of the way with this post, I can get started with writing it.

Warning: If in the distant future the Hipster population gets out of control and they somehow take over the planet (henceforth referred to as the HIPSTOCALYPSE), this place will transform into an underground blog from which I shall spearhead the resistance movement. We may not be able to save humanity, but we’ll take as many of those PBR guzzling douchebags with us as we possibly can. Viva La Resistance

Welcome to the new Ben Makes Movies

o hai tharLong time no see.

It’s been a hectic couple of years – a period of time that I’m sure I’ll be talking about quite often on this shiny new blog. While I haven’t released any YouTube shorts since the summer of ’09, I’ve still been hard at work writing and producing stuff in the professional world. After spending two years in hell Los Angeles I’m happy to report that I’m finally back home in the Pacific Northwest, and I’m ready to resume my favorite hobby: making web videos.

I’ve redesigned Ben Makes Movies  to be the new home for my personal blog on top of being the hub for my YouTube shorts. I’ve actually been blogging for years on different site related to my other hobby, designing independent online games. It’s been a lot of fun, but it’s time to graduate from writing a blog under an online alias that I’ve had since high school.

I’ve got several new web shorts in the works, including one that I intend to release later this week. Hold onto your cornbread Grandma – there is a ton of cool stuff on the way!